Having A Baby From A Cats Point Of View

1. OMG WHAT IS THAT? Can I smell it?

2. Oh Jesus. What is that noise? Make it stop, it's interrupted my peace

3. You seem to have acquired some wonderful places for me to sleep. Thank you. Oh OK, Why are you shouting at me? I thought this was fair game?

4. Excuse me but why does it have its hands in my water? 

5. Really? Blue is not my colour!

6. Why does he constantly want to touch me?

7. Stop following me!

8. SERIOUSLY STOP CHASING ME!! Leave me alone! 

9. Oh thank goodness he's went to bed. Please may I return to my rightful place on your lap now?